Friday, August 25, 2006
DEATH
Currently: “Nagpapakamanhid”.. … Yeah, whatever.
January 14, 2006. The best day of my life. Sinagot ko siya. Sobrang saya. At first he calls me “muffin” and he’s my “cheesecake”. Then after sometime, I call him “daddy” and he calls me “mommy”. After that we’ve changed. I call him “baby ko” and he calls me the same way too. We were so happy in love. Teasing each other like idiots, talking to the phone, going out, having fun with each other, etc. Madly in love. Basta masaya.
After couple of months, he changed. Ever since he told me he’s jealous of “boys” talking to me. So………he made a rule “NO TALKING TO BOYS, NO TEXTING OR ANY COMMUNICATION TO THEM”. It was just like “AKIN KA LANG, SAKIN KA LANG MAGTETEXT, AKIN LAHAT NG ATTENTION MO”. I always break that rule. I’m not a type of person who’s snobbish anyway. So it didn’t bother me. Nagsinungaling ako sa kanya. Until there’s a time when he knew my little secret. He got angry. I said I’m sorry and that wont happen again, I promise. But NO, I break that rule all over again. Over and over AGAIN. Napuno na siguro siya. He even made more rules. ALWAYS TURN OFF YOUR CELLPHONNE WHEN I’M NOT TEXTING YOU, DON’T YOU EVER LIE TO ME, YOU MUST TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU’LL DO, NO DANCING, etc. Parang buong buhay ko pinagbawal niya na. I can’t do that “perfectly”, so he got angry. Dumating na sa puntong, minumura niya ako. Basta may nagawa akong mali, GALIT. Konting mali, GALIT. I’m confused. I must follow each instructions he told me, and I must tell him everything I do, everything that is hgappening to me including time, place, day. I’m afraid, really afraid. Natatakot ako kasi sobra siya magalit.
Well this is the real part.
I gave him EVERYTHING. My life, my heart, my soul. Kung ano sinabi niya, dapat ko sundin yun. Pag sinabi niyang pumunta ka sa bahay, kahit EXAM pupunta ako. Ang dami ko ng sacrifice sa kanya. Friends, studies, family, money, LAHAT. Ang tanong, ANO BA NAIBIGAY NIYA SAKIN? I’m such a fool. Kahit ipakita niya nga lang na mahal niya ako, WALA. Nung una naman hindi ganito eh. Kulang lang sa kanya TIWALA. Wala siyang tiwala sa akin. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko. Naiipit ako. Pag Nagasaki ako ng totoo, assailing niyang nagsisinungaling ako. Pag ginawa ko ayaw niya, especially the “boy” thing, magagalit siya. Pag nagsinungaling ako, magagalit siya. LAGI SIYA GALIT. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko!!! You gave me nothing. And now you left me, paano na ako? Mga sacrifices ko? Shitness.
Kahit sana pakita mo lang na mahal mo ako.
January 14, 2006. The best day of my life. Sinagot ko siya. Sobrang saya. At first he calls me “muffin” and he’s my “cheesecake”. Then after sometime, I call him “daddy” and he calls me “mommy”. After that we’ve changed. I call him “baby ko” and he calls me the same way too. We were so happy in love. Teasing each other like idiots, talking to the phone, going out, having fun with each other, etc. Madly in love. Basta masaya.
After couple of months, he changed. Ever since he told me he’s jealous of “boys” talking to me. So………he made a rule “NO TALKING TO BOYS, NO TEXTING OR ANY COMMUNICATION TO THEM”. It was just like “AKIN KA LANG, SAKIN KA LANG MAGTETEXT, AKIN LAHAT NG ATTENTION MO”. I always break that rule. I’m not a type of person who’s snobbish anyway. So it didn’t bother me. Nagsinungaling ako sa kanya. Until there’s a time when he knew my little secret. He got angry. I said I’m sorry and that wont happen again, I promise. But NO, I break that rule all over again. Over and over AGAIN. Napuno na siguro siya. He even made more rules. ALWAYS TURN OFF YOUR CELLPHONNE WHEN I’M NOT TEXTING YOU, DON’T YOU EVER LIE TO ME, YOU MUST TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU’LL DO, NO DANCING, etc. Parang buong buhay ko pinagbawal niya na. I can’t do that “perfectly”, so he got angry. Dumating na sa puntong, minumura niya ako. Basta may nagawa akong mali, GALIT. Konting mali, GALIT. I’m confused. I must follow each instructions he told me, and I must tell him everything I do, everything that is hgappening to me including time, place, day. I’m afraid, really afraid. Natatakot ako kasi sobra siya magalit.
Well this is the real part.
I gave him EVERYTHING. My life, my heart, my soul. Kung ano sinabi niya, dapat ko sundin yun. Pag sinabi niyang pumunta ka sa bahay, kahit EXAM pupunta ako. Ang dami ko ng sacrifice sa kanya. Friends, studies, family, money, LAHAT. Ang tanong, ANO BA NAIBIGAY NIYA SAKIN? I’m such a fool. Kahit ipakita niya nga lang na mahal niya ako, WALA. Nung una naman hindi ganito eh. Kulang lang sa kanya TIWALA. Wala siyang tiwala sa akin. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko. Naiipit ako. Pag Nagasaki ako ng totoo, assailing niyang nagsisinungaling ako. Pag ginawa ko ayaw niya, especially the “boy” thing, magagalit siya. Pag nagsinungaling ako, magagalit siya. LAGI SIYA GALIT. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko!!! You gave me nothing. And now you left me, paano na ako? Mga sacrifices ko? Shitness.
Kahit sana pakita mo lang na mahal mo ako.
because i'm just someone in love with you ... at 8:35 PM
0 people told me what i'm doing is stupid
0 people told me what i'm doing is stupid
